Internet, Female Snails, and Eggs!

Bad Internet

The last two weeks have been very trying when it comes to accessing the internet. Usually, I have no problem with gaining access to the internet other than some problems with speed (slow as snails). But recently, access has been really spotty and when I do get connected with a decent signal, the bandwidth is so poor, waiting for a page to load is like waiting for a bunch of teenage girls to finish using the comfort room when you have to pee really bad!

Dinner at home

One rare moment that both CR’s were actually available!

Filipina Sleep Over

Speaking of which, my wife invited part of the tribe over to the house for a weekend sleep over. My asawa (“The Tita”) and her 4 nieces took up residence in the kitchen, living room and comfort rooms. Trust me when I say the 5 to 1 odds of getting my fair share of the CR did not play out well. Once, I waited for about 15 minutes to use the CR to the point my eyeballs were floating, while the door to the master CR remained closed. Because there was no noise whatsoever coming from the CR, I figured a “she” must have closed the door behind her after she was finished using. So I took my chances and slowly and quietly turned the knob. I didn’t want to surprise a young lady and hear any loud screams, so I proceeded to announce myself slowly…just in case. What I found was one of the 16 year olds combing her hair and admiring herself in the mirror. I apologized (why, I don’t know…it’s my CR after all!) and she says “It’s okay Uncle, I am only combing my hair.”  I thought for a second, only Donald Trump would pay that much attention to hair, but then realized what I was up against. I think at this age, a teenage Filipina’s most prized possession (besides her cell phone) is her comb. After this weekend, I will begin to devise a plan for the next time the tribe of female CR snails comes for a stay. I will confiscate all brushes and combs at the door. I might even install another mirror “outside” the CR as a back up plan.  Or, I could just pee outside like the rest of the male population!

Air Asia ZestAirlines and Eggs

Today I went to town and finally made it to the Zest Air ticketing office. Although that airline no longer fly out of Calbayog City, I thought I would stop in any way and check it out. When I walked in, it was like a warehouse of activity going on and I spotted the Zest Air counter on one side of the building. After a somewhat lengthy conversation (and a nosebleed or two) experienced by the young lady behind the Zest computer monitor, I came to the conclusion that Zest Air was taken over by Asia Air some time ago but you could not purchase tickets here any longer due to an account cancellation. But then she explained that while you could not make Zest Air reservations here, they did offer bookings on either Cebu Air or Philippine Air lines (PAL Express). When I asked a few more questions, I was soon informed that their account had been blocked over 5 months ago and they could not sell any tickets at all. So there I spent the better part of 15 minutes conversing with a ticket agent, who could not sell a ticket if she wanted to, and who probably needed a blood transfusion when I was finished with her. She finally referred me to her supervisor sitting behind another counter on the other side of the large room. As I approached her, I noticed what had to be a gross of eggs stacked on her desk. Then I noticed another gross or two on the floor behind the counter and then I realized I was in a warehouse full of eggs.  As I looked around and approached the supervisor, she immediately offered up “Sorry sir, we have no airline tickets, we are closed…..but we do sell eggs! That part was now so obvious.

Gross of eggs

Just Another Day in Paradise!