Just like an any other ordinary day anywhere else in the world, I opened the spam folder in an email account I rarely use. By the looks of all the mail I have collected there, you would think I am hooked up with a Nigerian prince and all of his trustees, executors, and lawyer friends. It also appears that I have oodles of money ready to invest in my private space travels with nasty Russian women. But as a result of my apparent financial distresses, I’ve obviously turned into regular user of online drugs that I purchase through a third-party Korean transgender with assets from my offshore holdings. And with all that hidden wealth, I justifiably need to drive a dilapidated new car which is in need of 4 tires and constant repairs, just to stay under the radar of American Pickers. My alien abductors have never returned to claim me, probably because of all my online watch purchases I’ve made, and because of all the ink and toner that I have collected and horded. I voted for Obama (more than once), I have no hair, suffer from erectile dysfunction and still, I have not joined enough lonely married women clubs. So, because my life has apparently become such a mess, I have emptied my spam folder and will start off with a clean slate. I was going to delete this account but now I think I’ll keep it and take another look at it again next year to see if I have changed my ways.
When you are retired, you can find all kinds of things to keep you busy…like reading unwanted spam for example!